I’ve been thinking a lot about who I am lately. What I was and now who am I?
Back before pregnancy, before baby, you were someone- your had your own identity. Maybe you were the career woman with your power suit and your blunt bob haircut. Or maybe you were a granola/crunchy gal wearing all natural fiber hemp clothing, and if it’s not organic you didn’t even want to see it. You could have been the party girl, who is down for ANYTHING! Shots at two pm on a Tuesday? Sounds great!
Me? I won’t even try to hide it- I was the high maintenance girl. I loved fancy restaurants, fashion, nice vacations, and looking good if I left the house. I would go out every weekend, and had a super full luxury life. I was very extra as the youths say.
Fast forward, I have my baby and my identity is tied into what my baby needs and I’m like wtf happened?
Where is that girl that always had good hair? Obviously I’m just talking about all of the surface stuff here, but let’s dig a little deeper. Before your tiny human came along, your priority and individual happiness was determined by your choices for yourself. Basically, it was all about you.
Now with a baby, When you get home from the hospital you literally are a dairy cow – that’s your identity. Nothing is about you. I was in such a fog for about a month. I had no ankles, my legs were swollen, and I was so bloated that I lived in old lady night gowns. My job was to sleep and take care of my baby. But my skin had no color, I had no appetite, and I was basically a shell. Over time, I adjusted and started putting on pants and getting my shit together. But in the beginning I was scared, I didn’t recognize myself.
Now, Nola is five months and I have started doing a few things just for me again so I’m not lost in the baby land abyss. It’s not the same self. I want to still be a Lindsey…. but I also want to be a mom. It’s a constant balancing act.
I talk to a lot of moms who are still stuck in baby land, where the entire universe surrounds your baby. I encourage you to start doing SOMETHING for yourself again. Try to remember who you were before kids and what was important to you. Become a hybrid version of yourself. To me that’s the definition of super mom!
So, just because you have a baby doesn’t mean you have to wear turtlenecks, drive a mini van, and get the hair cut with bangs all the way around your head. Unless you want to of course!
You still can be you…. and a mom.
Cheers till next week!